The Hulk Hogan sex tape

Hulk Hogan, the man children of the 80’s so fondly admired has successfully sued website Gawker, US$ 115 million for publishing a sex tape involving the wrestling icon and his best friends wife.

I know what you are all thinking. Who the hell would want to see a balding, 62 year old man, with the dress sense and vocabulary of a tween, performing moves in the bedroom, resembling his last great performance at Wrestlemania 3?

Of course it would have to be the same people who get a thrill from watching a balding, 62 year old man, with the dress sense and vocabulary of a tween doing his best work in a wrestling ring.

Well that’s what Gawker believed when they published the sex tape.

So lets begin from the start of how this incident occurred. Hogan said his friend, Bubba ‘The Love Sponge’ Clem (what is a love sponge?) told him in a phone call that his wife, Heather wanted to have sex with him.

Hogan, shocked but ever so generous, accepted the invite to sleep with his best friends wife.

Hogan had a suspicion that his friend may have been recording the relations, but for reasons that could not be explained, the Hulkster carried through with the deed.

Speaking in court, Hogan said he felt “humiliated” by the video and had not been the same man since it was published.

The last time Hogan felt this humiliated, he was swinging on a wrecking ball, wearing a thong.

But how humiliated was Hogan by the sex tape. Gawker lawyers went out of their way to prove Hogan has never been afraid to shy away from the topic of sex, as heard in a radio interview from 2006.

The interview centred around Hogan’s (cough) manhood. Yes we mean his Willy Wonka.

Gawker lawyers wanted to prove the Hulkster’s manhood is not as big as he proclaims.

The discussion was so off topic that we will skip the remainder of it for the sake of our readers.

To lighten up the mood, here’s a gif of a cute panda.

Now back to the main event. Gawker lawyers claimed that Hogan was humiliated by the video as it showed him racially vilifying his daughter’s boyfriend at the time, rapper Stacks.

The racial rant led to the WWE firing Hogan last year and removing all Hulk Hogan related products from their online store.

The only other time the WWE has abandoned someone so abruptly was when superstar, Chris Benoit murdered his son and wife before committing suicide.

The Gawker wanted to prove that Hogan’s lack of income in the past year was the reason behind his decision to sue the website.

But with his home town jury supporting him, Hogan was the victor in the grudge match that ended with him becoming $115 million richer and feeling good about himself once again.

Sport Songs – Devil in Disguise

To the tune of Devil in Disguise by Elvis Presley. 

You look like an angel

Dribble like an angel

Cross like an angel

But you lied

You’re the devil in disguise

Oh Ryan Giggs

The devil in disguise

 

You fooled us with your charm

You cheated with your sister in-law

Sir Alex knows how you lied to us

You’re not the way you seem

 

You look like an angel

Dribble like an angel

Cross like an angel

But you lied

 

You’re the devil in disguise

Oh Ryan Giggs

The devil in disguise

 

We thought you were a gentleman

Who did everything right

Heaven help your brother Rhodri

You’re a Red Devil deep inside

 

You look like an angel

Dribble like an angel

Cross like an angel

 

But you lied

You’re the devil in disguise

Oh Ryan Giggs

The devil in disguise

 

You’re the devil in disguise

Oh Ryan Giggs

The devil in disguise

Oh Ryan Giggs

The devil in disguise

 

 

10 MUST read facts about Shaquille O’Neal

  1. Shaq named his apartment the ‘Love Shaq’.
  1. 32 children have been injured by playing on a seesaw with Shaq.
  1. A Shaq screen sunk the titanic.

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  1. The only thing bigger than Shaq is his salary.
  1. Women have been impregnated just by saying the name Shaquille.
  1. Shaq’s mother was in labour for nine months, while trying to give birth to Shaquille.
  1. Ever heard of the story of when Shaq and Kobe were roommates?
    Of course you haven’t because it never happened.

04-19-20 SPT Lakers 1

  1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because the chicken got word that Shaq was armed with a bottle of BBQ sauce and was ready to use it.
  1. Shaq likes to listen to Barry White while eating BBQ chicken.
  1. Footage of Shaq eating BBQ chicken has been banned in 11 countries because it is deemed too graphic.

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The 50 MUST read Roy Keane facts

  1. Oscar Pistorius lost both legs after a Roy Keane tackle
  1. Roy Keane believes clones of Paul Scholes live on Mars, which is why the planet is red.
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Paul Scholes

  1. Zayn Malik quit One Direction after finding out Roy Keane’s daughter had a crush on him.
  1. Santa sits on Roy Keane’s lap and confesses who has been naughty and nice.
  1. Every knock knock joke ends with Roy Keane knocking someone’s teeth out.
  1. Roy Keane always holds up zero fingers. Instead he curls them to make a fist.
  1. Bruce Jenner became a woman after realising he could never be as manly as Roy Keane
  1. The Isle of Man was originally named the Isle of Roy Keane, but because Roy is so manly they decided to name it the Isle of Man.
  1. At school, Roy Keane used to steal brother, Robbie Keane’s lunch money.
  1. Robbie Keane play’s for the LA Galaxy because he wants to live in a galaxy without Roy Keane.
  1. Roy Keane’s parents named him Roy because it was the manliest name they could think of.
  1. Roy is an abbreviation for death.
  1. Roy Keane’s teeth are actually boot studs. When he bites into food it sounds like bones breaking.
  1. There are not enough stars in the sky to match the amount of legs Roy Keane has broken.
  1. Roy Keane can see John Cena.
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John Cena

  1. Roy Keane is fluent in Latin. That means, not only is he stronger then anyone else, he is also smarter.
  1. The only time Roy Keane has ever laughed was when Steven Gerrard slipped.
  1. Roy Keane is Austria’s favourite son and he is not even Austrian.
  1. Roy Keane makes The Rock look like a pebble.
  1. 60% of a male body is comprised of water, while Roy Keane’s body is 100% concrete.
  1. Roy Keane won a staring competition against his own reflection.
  1. Roy Keane will be the wall separating America and Mexico.
  1. Vladimir Putin once introduced himself to Roy Keane. Roy responded with “leave or I will Putin my fist down your throat and rip out your spine.”
  1. Moses could part the red sea, while Roy Keane can part a person’s body.
  1. The only actor mad enough to play Roy Keane is Mel Gibson.
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  1. When Roy Keane plays Fifa, every button allows him to tackle.
  1. Q. What’s green, as hard as a rock and can kill Superman?

A. Roy Keane

  1. Leprechauns do not make Roy Keane laugh.
  1. Roy Keane is the only person ever to have received a red card in a Foosball match.
  1. While grizzly bear’s hibernate, Roy Keane is hunting salmon to piss off the bears.
  1. Roy Keane know’s what Jehovah witnessed.
  1. Roy Keane received bribery payments from Sepp Blatter to ensure he stops injuring players.
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Sepp ‘Money bags’ Blatter

  1. Jose Mourinho may be known as ‘The Special One’ but Roy Keane is known as ‘The Angry One’.
  1. Just when you thought Roy Keane could not get any scarier, he grew a beard.
  1. Roy Keane can use a man bun as an object of mass destruction.
  1. Roy Keane made Cristiano Ronaldo cry for four weeks by telling him he was ugly.
  1. Wayne Rooney lost his hair after a Roy Keane death stare.
  1. Roy Keane’s beard is made out of Ryan Gigg’s chest hair.
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Ryan Giggs

  1. Michael Jackson turned white after a Roy Keane death stare.
  1. When Roy Keane punches someone in the face, they must apologise for their face making contact with his fist.
  1. Roy Keane eats iPhone’s because he believes they are apples.
  1. Roy Keane makes Lebron James look like a queen.
  1. Otters hold hands when they sleep. Roy Keane holds an opponents severed leg.
  1. Adolf Hitler committed suicide after hearing Roy Keane was planning to slide tackle him.
  1. It is illegal in 48 countries to utter the name ‘Roy Keane’
  1. No one knows why the chicken crossed the road because Roy Keane killed the chicken before it could provide an answer.
  1. Roy Keane came before the chicken and the egg.
  1. Liverpool supporters are told to ‘never walk alone’ because you never know when Roy Keane will slide tackle  you.
  1. Roy Keane has his own RKO, but people are too afraid to make vines about it.
  1. There are 200 corpses on Mount Everest. They were all victims of Roy Keane slide tackles.

Sport Songs – Cocaine

To the tune of Cocaine by Eric Clapton

If you play for Gold Coast or St Kilda.

Cocaine.

If you know ASADA or play Rugby.

Cocaine.

 

Bennell, Carlisle, Karmichael;

Cocaine.

 

If your on the front of the Herald Sun.

Cocaine.

When you get a trade to Fremantle.

Cocaine.

 

Bennell, Carlisle, Karmichael,

Cocaine.

 

If your on holiday in LA.

Cocaine.

Don’t forget the fact, you used Snapchat.

Cocaine.

 

Bennell, Carlisle, Karmichael,

Cocaine.

Bennell, Carlisle, Karmichael,

Cocaine.

Sport Songs – Boring Football

Boring Football (To the tune of Rubberneckin’ by Elvis Presley).

Stop, look and listen United

That’s Van Gaal’s philosophy (Yes it is now)

It’s called boring football United

That’s alright for him

Stop, look and listen United

That’s Van Gaal’s philosophy (Yes it is now)

It’s called boring football United

That’s alright for him

 

He has been there for 18 months,

And spent 200 million

But what do you see, no philosophy,

And lose to Wolfsburg (yeah yeah)

 

Wake up in the morning,

Look at the results

I look and stare at the score and I see a nil all draw (Hey hey hey)

 

Stop, look and listen United

That’s Van Gaal’s philosophy (Yes it is now)

It’s called boring football United

That’s alright for him

 

He has been there for 18 months,

And spent 200 million

But what do you see, no philosophy,

And lose to Wolfsburg (yeah yeah)

 

Sitting on the team bench,

Watching the match

Looking at Ryan Giggs

Doing all the work (Hey hey hey)

 

Stop, look and listen United

That’s Van Gaal’s philosophy (Yes it is now)

It’s called boring football United

That’s alright for him

 

Heey hey United

But that’s alright for him (Hey hey hey)

Boring football baby

But that’s alright for him.